People who say time heals everything....they lie

I can't stop thinking about her. It's been well over a year. I still have vivid dreams of her I never want to wake up from. I still miss her, need her, crave her, want to be with her. I miss her laugh, talking to her.

I never want her to go away. I wish she were here and didn't choose to leave. To give us a shot. She is always in my mind and heart. Haunts me in my dreams, but I would rather be tortured by the ghosts and shadows of her then have nothing at all.

And I'm back! The Flat White is here!

So I am back, not that anyone cares because I really write this for myself. It's been awhile. Had a lot going on. Things are back to "normal" I suppose.

So I was the freaking happiest Starbucks drinker this past Tuesday. They finally brought the Flat White to the U.S. I have been wanting/craving this espresso drink ever since my trip to the UK and Ireland. I first tried it at a Starbucks on High Street (the Royal Mile) in Edinburgh Scotland after it was suggested by our tour guide....that's how much I like it....I still know exactly where I tried it at. It's completely different from my normal drink orders....although I am sure it will be my new normal drink now that it is finally here. So happy over such a little thing. Yay Starbucks!

The name of the game is love

I have been thinking a lot about different things and one I always come back to is that age old question: can you be in love with more than one person?

Put simply: yes. Without over complicating things and second guessing and bringing in words like 'cheating' it is clear people may not only be programmed to be in love with one person. I know I am capable and have, do, always will be in love with two people.

You can hate, like, not care for, care about an infinite amount of people and do every day, so why not be completely in love with more than one person? People tend to fall for someone else and turn off their feelings, a part of themself, because of the stigma that comes with 'loving another.'

I never deny my capacity to love no matter the form.

Song of the day: Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith

The unintentional hiatus

I can't even blog everything that has happened in the past few weeks. I am sure I will get my feelings written down soonish. Basically I went from going to a normal ultrasound appointment with my wife to a whirl wind hospital extravaganza ending with a baby boy and girl who came almost 3 months early.

So now my life is home, work, and the NICU. There has been a lot of stress and so many emotions. This should make for some interesting musings. Weirdly enough in all that commotion, I never forgot about her.

Never give up

Never stop believing. Never give up on the people you want in your life. Never stop perusing your dreams. Just never stop...

4/7 Musing

Stuck in my own solitude
Like a prisoner on death row
Waiting to see when my time is up
Only you could know
For you are my executioner
Or my last minute stay
Either way I will love you
Completely, unabashed, alone

Question?

If anyone out there ever has a question, just ask. I am an open book. I will answer anything. Even random things.